Cream Cheese on Your Bagel

One of my closest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer on Monday.  She is 34 with four children and a loving husband.  She is healthy and so very strong and through God's amazing power, I know she will be healed.

I picked up her son along with Ryan from preschool that day and wanted to hug him so tight, but didn't.  I carried on like normal.  When we got home, the boys were hungry and immediately began to raid the pantry.  They decided they wanted bagels.  Ryan grabbed and ate his whole, just like he always does.  Logan asked if I could slice it and did I have cream cheese?  I sliced and thankfully had cream cheese.  I fought back tears because never once have my boys asked for it sliced and with cream cheese.  Only a mother knows how you like it.  I thought of all the other thousand little things about my boys that only I know.  David doesn't like his food to touch and can't stand to have his toenails trimmed.  Ryan has to be tucked in with his blanket facing a certain way and likes steak sauce on his broccoli.  Adam likes to sit in the bathtub and let the water run over his head and he feels compelled to close any door or cabinet that might be open.  In Psalm 139, I am reminded I am not the only one who knows this.

Psalm 139

You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.  ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.